A wife should lovingly participate actively in caressing, kissing and fondling with her husband’s body. While doing this, she in turn becomes excited and produces fluid that helps lubricate her vagina and makes entry of the penis easy. If the wife has a dry vagina, she may either use artificial lubricant or use her tongue to lubricate the tip of her husband’s penis before the husband enters her. This makes thrusting in and out very easy and painless. Alternatively, she may lovingly tell her husband to use his own tongue to lubricate her vagina since the mouth is always wet with saliva. However, this must be done under very high mouth hygiene.
Husbands, most wives love the inner part of their vagina to be caressed with their husband’s finger. Wives are advised to tell their husbands their sexual preferences and not be shy about it. But care must be taken by the husbands not to get the wives infected with dirty and un-kept fingernails. While the husband is ‘fingering’ his wife, the wife should give him loving direction on how she would love to be caressed. The ‘fingering’ should be directed towards the location of the clitoris to get it stimulated and excited. Husbands should note that the clitoris should not be rubbed too hard; vigorous rubbing always turns the woman off. Wives should tell their spouses exactly what they want without fright or guilt.
I tell husbands that most African men do not know where the clitoris of their wives are located and when they invariably discover it, they caress it as if they are removing coal from the back of a stained cooking pot.
As love play continues, your excitement will grow. Both of you will begin to breathe rapidly and your whole body will become warm. The wife’s vagina will increase in size and the husband’s penis will become harder, stronger and enlarged; and if this continues, without any interruption, the couple will reach the point where the vagina will be ready to welcome the penis for any form of thrusting in and out. Whichever way couple want it at this time, the vagina is over-prepared to receive any form of jacking, thrusting and hitting. This is because the vagina is not only lubricated enough, it has also developed capacity against any shocking hitting. It has reinforced itself and ready for any eventuality, so to say.
The three most important things to note during love play is to remember to talk freely, not to be in a hurry and be sensitive to what turns your spouse on and to avoid what turns them off. Then shortly after this, lengthy thrusting in and out either of the spouse or one after the other or both at the same time will enter into a readiness state. This is when the excitement level of either or both partners is very high and near eruptive expression otherwise called orgasm.
Man’s speed in reaching orgasm is very fast; it ranges between 15-20 seconds while that of the woman is really slow between 20- 30 minutes or thereabout. This is so because the female arousal involves a longer psychological build up. And they are more likely to be distracted than men. For instance, a lady can be distracted during lovemaking by the cry of a baby or the smell of a burnt food, or the sound of downpour of rain or the fear of another baby or the thought of a sick mother. These distractions make it difficult for most wives to keep their minds on track and reach orgasm on time. With this understanding, it is preferable that love play should begin well over time with the woman. Wives should boldly and gently tell their husbands to take the lead by kissing, fondling and caressing them long before his own arousal; may be 20-25 minutes before the husband comes in. Nevertheless, the wife too, must learn to be focused sexually and master her arousal and response; she can then easily reach orgasm on time. But due to circumcision, it may be difficult for some wives to experience orgasm.
The husband can know if his wife is about to experience orgasm because there will be an increase in the size of the vaginal lips, there will be an increased wetness in the lips of the vagina. She may or may not express some unusual sound of pleasure or movements of the body. The husband can increase the speed of his thrusting as he is aware that he too will soon ejaculate. One of the most pleasurable sexual feelings for wives apart from the final orgasm is to feel her husband thrusting in and out in her well-lubricated vagina.
Orgasm is the wonderful feeling of the highest excitement. When couples reach this level of excitement, they feel a tremendous, incredible, fantastic, terrific, pleasure surging through their whole body for about 10 seconds. For the wives, this pleasurable feeling begins in her clitoris and spreads to her entire body. During this time, she breathes rapidly, makes some sounds that show her extreme pleasure and contentment. This expression is not compulsory but this exhibited feeling by wives gives their husbands a sense of triumph. The same feeling goes on in the body of the husband for about 10 seconds after which he ejaculates with serial jerking.
When some men want to forcefully continue thrusting in and out, they usually experience pain. It is always advisable to wait for about 15 to 20 minutes or thereabout before another stimulation and erection before another round.
Although some unsatisfied women get turned off by this waiting, the best remedy for this section is for the husband to either leave his penis inside the wife’s vagina or immediately, start ‘fingering’ his wife, caressing the clitoris until the wife reaches her orgasm while the penis is still taking its time