Why did you get married? Have you asked yourself this question before? There is the real essence of marriage but many marry for several reasons which may be wrong or part of the fragments of the real essence of marriage. Many marry because they want kids that looks like them. Some others because they love a lady. Some because they were told to get married. Anyway, this discussion does not treat the essence of marriage.

Most times we sacrifice our marriages for money. How do I mean? We get married and leave the time that marriage demands to attend to jobs and businesses. Married couples should bond and build their relationships. Once you get married, your home becomes your priority. Thus a man who will not spend time with his family should not dare get married. Your wife needs your company and your children too.

Its really about priority. Parents leave home every day to work and make toys available for children but forget about having time and training the children for whom they claim to work for. Its like breaking the leg of a cow so you could buy some grass for the cow can feed. Why not eat up the cow and forget you have any instead of coping with a sick cow.

What are the consequences of the sacrifice?

A dysfunctional home: Most homes with absentee father and/or mother breeds children who lacks the fatherly and/or motherly love. The children sees parents as having time just for themselves and their jobs and do not have time for them. Children love to play with their parent. They love to spin around with you and do some sand play. Children and parent often get disconnected and everyone lives like he wants.

A hurting spouse: Spouses atimes behave irrationally due to boredom and stress from the job or lack of affection through bonding. Some couples have not really spent time together since they got married. They keep up with jobs day in day out to make money to be spent on the toys they like while not being there for one another. One most important reason for marriage is companionship. No friend should be a better friend than your spouse.

A cheating spouse: If a man spends more time with his female secretary more than his wife, he could have his emotions tilted toward the hot sexy skimpy girl. Men are moved by what they see and often moved by what they see often. Emotional connection takes place every time someone is closer to you. Someone else begins to understand you more than your spouse. Someone else begins to connect better with you than your spouse. Then someone else can take care of your spouse more than you. Spouses begin to get fed up seeing family as a place for working out your ass and dump the cash with people who never care how you make the money. Affection then moves. Do not allow adultery. Sacrifice money for marriage not the other way round.

A breeding place for dangerous children: Problems in the society today are caused by children whose parents have gone awol. The house helps understand the children more than the parent. They learn values from the house help and are taught wickedness by the way the house help treats them. Parents do not teach their children true values, they simply let them live as they do not have time for them. Home is a place of training and culture. Train a child in the way he should go so when he is old, he has values and principles he can stick to because of you. The schools teacher is not the perfect trainer for your family. God has placed you there to be the team coach.

How should parents make the change from this system of living?

• Plan your moves- you might need an exit plan

• Prioritize your life- let first things come first

• Trust God with your life-it is not always by labor

• Don’t live to impress others-nobody really cares at the end of it all

• You create time for what you value-If you value family, create time for them Our society needs parents not part time guardians.

Our world need coaches who will sit back and watch victorious kids score the goals while their minds are at peace. Join us and become the spouse to whom the family matters. Stop the sacrifice. Lets make family happen.

‘Dare Shokunbi