Yeah, you just had a baby! Congratulations! Babies are so cute most people love them. Often times though, they seem fragile and kinda wanna slip through your hands as a man. It’s amazing to look at that little thing grow and looking just like you. Well children are responsibilities and you don’t wanna mess around while raising them to avoid your wife dealing with many babies.
The baby becomes the center of attraction for everyone when newly born. In the Nigerian culture, the man’s mother comes specially to take care of the baby and the mother. Siblings, in laws and all are around to admire the pretty little thing trying to figure out whom the child resembles or will later resemble. Everyone can even bring the child’s name especially if this is the first child.
Away from the razzmatazz, since most people and the mother will be focusing on the baby, the husband should act differently. The woman may not know how much was stretched in her until the father-husband-steps in. At this time, she needs you like nothing else. She needs your watching over her, she needs your attention, she needs your curdle and she needs your thank you over and again. She should be your baby now. At child birth, she is not the same as the woman she was few hours ago. She feels like something is torn out of her. There is the feeling of joy and hurt at the same time. You need to help her balance her chemistry and person.
When my wife had our daughter, I took her as my first responsibility and it worked. I first noticed she seem to be losing some strength I told the doctor and he said ‘She’s doing just fine’. Minutes later, I rushed to the theatre and ensured I got attention. That was when it was noticed she was bleeding, the stitch was not done properly. All the stories followed and she came out well even though we had to change hospital.
Child birth period is one of the greatest times you can validate your love for your wife. If she becomes your major concern at that time. You need to be sure she is ok and can get back as the cutie girl you once knew. Your actions or inactions at that time will determine how she perceives you in nearest future. What your wife needs is not just money, she needs some care, care and care.
Fellow husband, you need to google what she needs at this time and make her happy. She needs some fruit, milk and may be some hot pepper soup like we do in our culture. One very important thing is to get her a thank you for going through the process gift. Yeah! Something she loves. It maybe a super full natural flowers collection, a locket with the babies picture, a card. Something awesome. This is like a ceremony that should be planned. Well planned!
We often want to be quick in organizing the naming ceremony and throw a party but forgetting that the mother has to be healthy and sound first. No rule says the baby should be named in a party or it must be in eight days. Make family health your priority above the fun fair. You might not even throw a party once the baby has a name. Nobody truly cares about what you did at the naming party. Weird I know! Just trying to emphasize how much you need to care for God’s daughter.
All is wrapped in a sentence ‘Care for your wife immediately after child birth’. Why not have an eight day caring for my wife ceremony instead of waiting for the naming ceremony party. You might need to plan your live with this joyful arrival. Let her know you really care. Let her parents know their daughter is in safe hands.
I wasn’t able to do so much at the first child birth since I was a rookie father. Now I know better and trust, my wife will testify the next experience. Please she mustn’t read this till after the next baby so she won’t have a clue of the surprises.
See you after our second baby on this matter as I must have learnt more.